This week was very different for me and very insightful. I haven't ever been directly affected by divorce and it was interesting to listen to everyone's stories and experiences on how their lives have been changed by divorce. It made me appreciate the nuclear family even more and admire those who have been through divorces and made it out to the other side a better person.
What I took away from the week's discussions were that you shouldn't ever go into a marriage thinking that divorce is an option or expecting that you will get divorced. What I mean by that is that you should go into a marriage with the best of intentions, and if you ever think before being married that you can just divorce them if it doesn't work out, then you just shouldn't get married to that person in the first place. Chances are, if you go into a situation with negative opinions of the person, that marriage isn't going to last.
I think there are a few qualifying reasons for divorcing someone, but a lack of love isn't one of them. Marriage is hard. There are days when you don't like your spouse, and it would be so much easier to just throw in the towel and walk away. However, that isn't how it works. When your relationship is sick, it needs to be worked on and healed. I think the only thing that we can do is work as hard as we can to remember why we love our spouse and then to do everything possible to keep respect within the relationship.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Week Eleven
The discussions and subject matter we talked about in class was very easy for me to understand and be motivated to be involved in class about. Mainly, this was due to the fact that I am taking a parenting class this semester. I feel like a lot of the material we covered in class was kind of a review of my semester in my parenting class, and I really appreciated it!
Something I really enjoyed discussing was the differences in parenting and how different kinds of family living situations can alter the way that parenting styles can affect children. How we choose to parent our children really does affect the way that they view life and interact with others. Out of all of the parenting styles, I would hope that I would be an authoritative parent, but I know that I do have a tendency to be a bit overbearing sometimes. I worry about those I love and want to protect them from any harm. Sometimes its important to let your children make their own mistakes though, and then be there for them when they need to be comforted and picked back up. As always, a strong parenting relationship is based on a strong marriage. Basically everything in the family can be traced back to a strong marriage, and that is why it is so important for us to work as hard as we can to keep our marriages strong.
Something I really enjoyed discussing was the differences in parenting and how different kinds of family living situations can alter the way that parenting styles can affect children. How we choose to parent our children really does affect the way that they view life and interact with others. Out of all of the parenting styles, I would hope that I would be an authoritative parent, but I know that I do have a tendency to be a bit overbearing sometimes. I worry about those I love and want to protect them from any harm. Sometimes its important to let your children make their own mistakes though, and then be there for them when they need to be comforted and picked back up. As always, a strong parenting relationship is based on a strong marriage. Basically everything in the family can be traced back to a strong marriage, and that is why it is so important for us to work as hard as we can to keep our marriages strong.
Week Ten
My father has always been a strong role model in my life. I connect with him and feel like I am a lot like him. I have always been a daddy's girl and have loved having a committed, spiritual, loving father in my life. I know that not everyone is so lucky to have such a strong father figure in their life. I knew that when I got married that I wanted to marry someone who had the qualities of my father in them, such as spirituality, dedication to family, and a love for adventure as well as life. I have been lucky to find those qualities in my husband. I think that in finding a spouse it is important to be looking for those strong qualities you desire and to not stray from them. Its never good to be overly-critical, but when you are choosing your forever someone, you want to make sure you don't just choose the first person you think is amazing.
Talking about finances is something that I usually don't like to do because I get stressed over thinking about how to properly budget. However, this time it was really beneficial for me. I went home and talked to my husband and we made a budget that day. We have had budgets before, but we needed something that was a little bit more forceful or helpful in reminding us if we were on track or not. We found this amazing site called mint.com. I would recommend it to everyone! Through mint.com we were able to create a budget that was reasonable and even create goals for future family vacations! I really appreciated the One For the Money book that we received as well because it helped me to realize what is most important to be looking at when budgeting.
Talking about finances is something that I usually don't like to do because I get stressed over thinking about how to properly budget. However, this time it was really beneficial for me. I went home and talked to my husband and we made a budget that day. We have had budgets before, but we needed something that was a little bit more forceful or helpful in reminding us if we were on track or not. We found this amazing site called mint.com. I would recommend it to everyone! Through mint.com we were able to create a budget that was reasonable and even create goals for future family vacations! I really appreciated the One For the Money book that we received as well because it helped me to realize what is most important to be looking at when budgeting.
Week Nine
Communication in a marriage is vitally important. I feel like not enough young couples (myself included) talk enough about tough decisions or ideologies with each other. It is so important for the husband and wife to be tightly united in a marriage and to be able to communicate with each other calmly so they can make decisions regarding the whole family together. In order to best communicate with my husband, I have found that it is always best to talk about an issue when it is first presented. If problems arise in our family and we don't immediately address them or acknowledge them, they become a sore spot and source of resentment in the future.
I also think it is really important to include your children in the decision making process of life events that will effect the whole family's integrity. Of course it is always important for the husband and wife to talk together first before bringing the family together, but in dealing with life changing experiences, or even minor family matters, the children's input is important to include so they feel like they are a part of the family. Even the simplest things such as talking to your children about where they would like to go for a family vacation that year is important. I remember my parents would always ask my sister and I if we had anything that we really wanted to do during the summer at the beginning of break each year. They then would make a list and we would do as much on it as we could.
Most importantly, the lines of communication need to be open at all times between husband, wife, and children. When this happens then the family is able to create a more loving and spiritual home environment.
I also think it is really important to include your children in the decision making process of life events that will effect the whole family's integrity. Of course it is always important for the husband and wife to talk together first before bringing the family together, but in dealing with life changing experiences, or even minor family matters, the children's input is important to include so they feel like they are a part of the family. Even the simplest things such as talking to your children about where they would like to go for a family vacation that year is important. I remember my parents would always ask my sister and I if we had anything that we really wanted to do during the summer at the beginning of break each year. They then would make a list and we would do as much on it as we could.
Most importantly, the lines of communication need to be open at all times between husband, wife, and children. When this happens then the family is able to create a more loving and spiritual home environment.
Week Eight
It seems as though no matter how well you are doing in your relationship or life, some crisis seems to always find its way into your life and affect your relationship. Whether it be financial, family related, or indirectly related to you, life throws curve balls at each of us constantly. I have been married for almost a year now, and I feel like for the past two years my husband and I have dealt with crisis after crisis. Family health failing, friends passing away, finances, and the joys of learning how to communicate with each other properly! I loved how in class we talked about how crisis and stressors in our lives change us for the better.
I can honestly say that through all of the hardships we have been through in the past two years have been totally worth it. I agree with the theory we have talked previously before in class about how those who go through tremendous trials come out and eventually are thankful for those trials. I feel that way about all of the life changing trials in my life.
This life isn't easy, in fact it can sometimes be extremely hard and discouraging. The most important thing, I think, is to just never forget that you are not alone and that things will get better. Heavenly Father wants us to grow and be perfected through our trials. I am grateful for the trials in my life and I know that they challenge me to be better and give me strength that I will need later for another trial.
I can honestly say that through all of the hardships we have been through in the past two years have been totally worth it. I agree with the theory we have talked previously before in class about how those who go through tremendous trials come out and eventually are thankful for those trials. I feel that way about all of the life changing trials in my life.
This life isn't easy, in fact it can sometimes be extremely hard and discouraging. The most important thing, I think, is to just never forget that you are not alone and that things will get better. Heavenly Father wants us to grow and be perfected through our trials. I am grateful for the trials in my life and I know that they challenge me to be better and give me strength that I will need later for another trial.
Week Seven
This week was very insightful and I feel like we had a lot of really great class discussions. Something that really stuck with me was when we talked about the differences between men and women and how those differences can lead to problems in communicating what we need from one another in a relationship. When we talked about that in class it was kind of like a light bulb went off in my head and it totally made sense! Men and women are divinely different, so how can we expect to think and require the same things from each other that we think we need? It just makes sense to me that we need to find better ways to talk about difficult issues so we can come to understand each others needs.
I liked the metaphor/ class activity that we did in class to represent trying to talk about difficult issues with your spouse. It was really hard for me to describe to the person who I was working with what the picture looked like so she could draw it. That is definitely how it is in marriage, at least for me, most of the time! Often I know that I feel frustrated about something, but it is hard to explain why I am irritated or why something is so important to me. In my experience, when it seems that you just aren't getting your point across to your spouse it is best to just say to them "Look, I am feeling frustrated right now and I can't really express to you why, so just please be understanding that I am feeling hurt right now". That usually goes over better then yelling at each other or talking in circles.
I liked the metaphor/ class activity that we did in class to represent trying to talk about difficult issues with your spouse. It was really hard for me to describe to the person who I was working with what the picture looked like so she could draw it. That is definitely how it is in marriage, at least for me, most of the time! Often I know that I feel frustrated about something, but it is hard to explain why I am irritated or why something is so important to me. In my experience, when it seems that you just aren't getting your point across to your spouse it is best to just say to them "Look, I am feeling frustrated right now and I can't really express to you why, so just please be understanding that I am feeling hurt right now". That usually goes over better then yelling at each other or talking in circles.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Week Six
What I really liked this week was when we talked about the transition of having children and how it affects your marriage. I am pregnant with my first child right now, and I can say that it has been quite the challenge to adjust to as a married couple! We are so excited to have a baby, but it is so true that it changes your life. When the baby arrives I know we are going to go through many more changes, and we will have to work hard to stick together during that time.
I feel like the most important thing you can do to survive challenges in marriage is to pray together and stay together. Sometimes you just want to run away because the stress of life seems to be too much with another person there, but it really is important to stick together. When you are together, it allows you both to encourage each other and to work out the issues you face together. If I had to go through life alone, I wouldn't be able to make very good decisions without the advise and help of my husband or family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)